Absent Presence

Posted 04 November, 2019 at 23:27

Author Alison Jeavons Creative on behalf of Soulchology

Absent Presence itself is an Oxymoron and noun described as ‘a figure of speech in which apparent and contradictory terms appear in conjunction’.

Absent Presence can mean many things and the following meanings have been personal to me on my own healing journey, but will likely resonate with anyone who’s faced challenges associated with emotional trauma.

The two potent words provides my practice with the ideal title lending succinct values and pathways to healing for:


Emotion arising from repressed trauma that may not be in the forefront of your mind, but nevertheless lies dormant affecting your life in real-time.

It can take many years of repeated patterns before you become aware of underlying feelings that dictate how you behave. If you find yourself riding an overwhelming wave of emotional reaction and unable to regulate yourself to respond to challenging situations - this may ring a bell.


The absence of actually being present creating fear and anxiety from living in the past, or future.

Mindfulness is a skill that is vital in healing emotional trauma. Finding an emotional balance is something I teach as part of mentoring using Dialectical Therapy together with Acceptance and Commitment.

It’s almost impossible to be 100% mindful all of the time, but the more present in each moment you learn to be, the more control over your life - and emotions - you will have.

By practicing and gaining control over your thoughts, emotions, physical sensations and letting go of critical judgments and attachments, you will enable happiness and effectiveness in every area of your life..


The absence of a feeling or action that remains present without actually being present.

Something or someone that is in your psyche, your subconscious, even in actual focus in the form of avoidance; affecting how you think, feel, behave and generally live your life. 

I don’t bang the forgiveness drum but I do dance to the tune of acceptance. To accept something that’s happened, doesn’t mean the behaviour or occurrence was OK, or that you even accept that behaviour toward you. What it means is the allowance of something to simply ‘be’; something you can’t change or control because it’s already happened, in order to release the hold it has over you.

What you can change, and what you can control, is what you think, do and feel next. And that includes accepting yourself.

I would love to know what the words 'Absent Presence' means to you too.

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